let's get to it

Hey,
This is a post saying I've lost perspective on what is important.
I am not where I want to be spiritually or physically, I'm not where I need to be and I know that.
I've let so much slide because I knew I was doing something that I shouldn't.
It started so small, and now it's snowballed into something I don't think I'm going to get out of.
It started with me neglecting my blog, and not reading my patriarchal blessing because it wasn't required. then my scripture study, then my prayers. Not so bad right? I forgot what those things brought to my life, the spirit it brought and the way it made me feel. But I was still doing things good. I started listening to music that drove away the spirit, because I love listening to music. not a big deal. I started focusing on myself, I needed to improve right? so I let some hellos go by unsaid, some work left un-offered. I needed some "self-work" so I was going to take some time. I stopped going to the temple. You don't need to go to the temple all the time to be a good person right? I can be faithful without the temple. I stopped paying my tithing, I never had cash, I don't carry checks....I'd get to it later...I closed myself off to the people I once held dear....I stopped going to family home evening stopped taking my calling seriously and now, I'm not regularly attending church.I still have a testimony but I can feel the lack of an oomph.

I was having a good day, I was having lots of good days, but tonight I noticed something, I felt something that I hadn't felt in a while....fear. I was feeling uneasy about nothing really, my mind was just on some silly things that doesn't affect me really. I realized that all those things I neglected have made a noticeable dent in who I am.

I have a testimony of the small and simple things. They are important. They help you realize how much you are loved and looked after, how real God is and how careful His plan is for you. They give you power and purpose. They give you love and safety. They matter in ways I don't fully understand, but I do understand that the small and simple things are as important as eating, as important as drinking water. It's like, have you ever had a bad day, you just feel horrible and mad and then someone you know gives you a smile? a hug? a compliment? that one small simple act turns your whole day around, all your perspective. That's what the small and simple things are. The small and simple things are what brings perspective, warmth and light into your day. They turn around any bad situation and give you power to keep going.
I also have a testimony of my Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ. I know that through the Atonement I can be made whole again. I know my Father in Heaven loves me. I know I am His daughter. I know I matter.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ amen.

Why I could never leave; entry #6

God's love is real.
When you recognize it, there is no denying it.

challenge: look for His love in the "mundane" of life. Like someone you love and trust reminding you of something you forgot aobut that made you a better person.

Thanks love

and thank you Heavenly Father for everything.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.